Saturday, March 2, 2013

Herman Melville

Herman Melville was a pretty popular author when he first started writing about, like, ships or whatever. He wrote Moby Dick, which (spoiler) is about a whale and not a penis. You've heard of that one, right? Anyway, he looked like this:























He's surprisingly okay, isn't he? Besides, 19th Century facial hair is super in right now. But there was just something not quite hip enough about him, so...




























Much better! He was a sailor after all, so of course he needs tattoos. And a six-pack. And tight pants. All of these things are very nautical.

THIS IS HOW YOU SELL BOOKS HERMAN MELVILLE! You werk it! Would this guy have died forgotten and penniless? I think not.

Sure, original Herman Melville may have written Moby Dick, arguably one of the greatest American novels. But Hipster Herman Melville writes Ishmael/Queequeg fanfiction in his Williamsburg loft when he's not adapting old sea shanties into modern hits with his band, The Confidence-Men.

Who would you rather see the watery part of the world with?

2 comments:

Sarah Redmond said...

It is taking all of my willpower not to google Ishmael/Queequeg fanfiction right now.

I mean, it HAS to exist, right? Melville did like 75% of the work already.

danielle said...

It totally does have to exist. The scene at the very beginning when they share a lodging room basically writes the fanfic for you.

I love hipster Melville and would totally go see his band play.