He's surprisingly okay, isn't he? Besides, 19th Century facial hair is super in right now. But there was just something not quite hip enough about him, so...
Much better! He was a sailor after all, so of course he needs tattoos. And a six-pack. And tight pants. All of these things are very nautical.
THIS IS HOW YOU SELL BOOKS HERMAN MELVILLE! You werk it! Would this guy have died forgotten and penniless? I think not.
Sure, original Herman Melville may have written Moby Dick, arguably one of the greatest American novels. But Hipster Herman Melville writes Ishmael/Queequeg fanfiction in his Williamsburg loft when he's not adapting old sea shanties into modern hits with his band, The Confidence-Men.
Who would you rather see the watery part of the world with?