Andrew Marvell

National Poetry Month is upon us! Every April, all across the land, teachers are trying to get students to read some poems and not hate them. Now you could try to imbue students with the beauty of language and the power of the written word, or you could just pick the sexy poems and only read those.

Case in point: Andrew Marvell. He was always writing about doing it! His most famous poem can be summarized like this: have sex with me right now, because what if we die tomorrow and then we would have never had sex? (I like to call this genre "high art pickup lines.") If that doesn't capture the entire point of poetry, then I don't know what does.

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After:























Look, had we but world enough and time, we might do original Andrew Marvell. But Jersey Shore Marvell™ is WAY hotter, and his overt sluttiness more accurately captures the essence of his work. Now you'll have to excuse us, we've got to roll all our strength and all our sweetness up into one ball. It's gonna be hot.