Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Next On Real World Poets


Sylvia and HD have a few too many Cosmos and things heat up!



Later, HD complains, "Sylvia's totally taking the whole makeout thing too seriously. I mean, I only did it on a dare, because Bukowski said he didn't think we'd really do it. And now she's all like...I don't know, like it meant something. She needs to back off."



Sylvia hears about HD's dis and make everyone a snack before she tries to end it all. Says Frank, "Um...I know she's upset and everything? But that's an electric oven."

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Vladimir Mayakovsky

Russian Futurist poet Vladimir Vladimirovich Mayakovsky was a total badass, and he does a nice job recuperating the pervasive "wussy boy" image of poets. The dude started writing poetry in PRISON after he was arrested for being a political upstart and ne'er do well! And he wrote a poem called "A Cloud in Trousers," which we assume is totally racy. When we scanned it for the sexy parts we found this:

"You would not recognize me now:
a bulging bulk of sinews,
groaning,
and writhing,
What can such a clod desire?
Though a clod, many things!"

Ooooh Mayakovsky! Even though you were already pretty hot, now we know what you really looked like on the inside!
Before:




















After:









<-----bulging bulk of sinews groaning and writhing

Friday, June 6, 2008

William Blake: They don't call him a "Romantic" for nothing!

Most people talk about William Blake in terms of boring stuff like metaphysics and his idiosyncratic religious views and the relationship between text and image and blah blah blah. But we know what he's really all about: romance! He is a "Romantic Poet" after all, isn't he? Finding sexiness in his work isn't as easy as it should be with such a moniker, but how about that "bed of crimson joy" in "The Sick Rose"? That sounds pretty hot to me.
Before:


























In his makeover, note Blake's casual yet erotic pose and faraway stare that seem to be saying, "Sure I'm Innocent, but I'm also Experienced." I'd let him show me his "dark secret love" anytime!
After:




















(If I was Heaven and he was Hell...)