Wednesday, April 23, 2008
It's Shakespeare's birthday! (Well, actually, it's the day he died, but we guess they celebrated things differently in olden times.) We're sure that must be like a national holiday in England or France or wherever he's from. He's totally the GOD of poetry! He wrote entire plays in that iampic pentagon or whatever you call it.This is the man who put Leonardo Dicaprio and that My So-Called Life chick in the same play! He wrote the best love stories ever written in his own writing! Without a laptop!
He also wrote some sonnets, whatever those are, and some of them were to a "fair youth," maybe one like our Leo here. We know about that because of that LFO song that goes, "When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet, Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets-- New Kids On The Block had a bunch of hits, Chinese food makes me sick, and I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer..." Remember that song? That's totally poetic, because it doesn't make sense, like all good poetry.
EJP & KTB
Saturday, April 19, 2008
"hasped and hooped and hirpling with pain.../The bloodshot water wallowed and surged, /There were loathsome upthrows and overturnings /Of waves and gore and wound-slurry." Awesome!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Fact: You can sing most of Emily Dickinson's poems to the Gilligan's Island theme song. Go ahead. Try it:
Because I could not stop for Death --
He kindly stopped for me --
The Carriage held but just Ourselves --
We slowly drove -- He knew no haste
And I had put away
My labor and my leisure too,
For His Civility --
We passed the School, where Children strove
At Recess -- in the Ring --
We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain --
We passed the Setting Sun --
Or rather -- He passed Us --
The Dews drew quivering and chill --
For only Gossamer, my Gown --
My Tippet -- only Tulle --
We paused before a House that seemed
A Swelling of the Ground --
The Roof was scarcely visible --
The Cornice -- in the Ground --
Since then -- 'tis Centuries -- and yet
Feels shorter than the Day
I first surmised the Horses' Heads
Were toward Eternity --
The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed--
Oh, sorry. We got carried away.
Monday, April 14, 2008
ABIDE, and abide; and better abide,
After the old proverb the happy day
And ever my Lady to me doth say,
"Let me alone, and I will provide."
I abide, and abide, and tarry the tide,
And with abiding speed well ye may.
Thus do I abide I wot alway,
N'other obtaining, nor yet denied.
Aye me! this long abiding
Seemeth to me, as who sayeth
A prolonging of a dying death,
Or a refusing of a desired thing.
Much were it better for to be plain,
Than to say, "Abide," and yet not obtain.
Whew! There's nothing like a bout of "long abiding" to give a guy some serious grief! He wrote you a SONNET for crying out lout! Have sex with him already!
(Ed. note: It has come to my attention that this is actually Thomas Wyatt the Younger, Wyatt's son, of "Wyatt's Rebellion" fame. Whatever, he's sexier.)
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Drunks fear the police,
but the police are drunk too.
People in this town, we love them
both like different chess pieces.
Chess is boring, but the part about the police getting drunk reminds us of Superbad. Awesome movie. Anyway, here's to Rumi!
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Their story was made into the movie Sylvia, which was ok but could have used more nudity and a less depressing ending. So she dies and that's it? Couldn't she just get over it and maybe find someone else? Someone played by Colin Firth. And he emerges from lakes a lot. That was in something literary, right? But we digress. Anyway, we don't see why she had to lose it and stick her head in the oven and stuff. After all, her daddy thought she was fine...
--with thanks to EJP
Monday, April 7, 2008
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Maybe not the best photoshop job, but check out Photoshop Disasters if you want to be truly appalled.
Friday, April 4, 2008
They just don't make poets like they used to--back in the 700's, Li Bai was China's #1 badass. Just check out this poem where he gets so wasted he doesn't know what season it is:
(The Meaning of Life Revealed) Upon Waking Up Drunk on a Spring Day
translated by Keith Holyoak
Life in this world is just a glorious dream,
So why should we sweat and toil our lives away?
Be lazy—pour yourself wine, and always stay drunk
Like me, laid out here on the porch all day
Until I woke up, and spied among the courtyard’s
Blossoming flowers one small songbird at play.
"Little friend," I inquired, "Could you kindly tell me the season?"
The wandering warbler sang on the breeze of May—
Spring already! I only could heave a sigh,
Pour some more wine, and down it without delay.
Then loudly I sang, awaiting the bright moonrise.
My song has ended—I forget what I meant to say!
Makes today's department wine-and-cheese parties seem totally lame.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
The Second Coming
Turning and turning in the widening gyre,
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
We at Literary Makeovers look forward to a better world, one in which merchandising far outweighs the actual content of a poem or the talent of a poet. Imagine it: William Carlos Williams lunchboxes! High modernist trading cards! Baudelaire action figures, complete with ennui!
Until then, we can only hope to emulate the one band that has taken rock stardom to a whole new level.
KTB and EJP
Tuesday, April 1, 2008