Vladimir Mayakovsky

Russian Futurist poet Vladimir Vladimirovich Mayakovsky was a total badass, and he does a nice job recuperating the pervasive "wussy boy" image of poets. The dude started writing poetry in PRISON after he was arrested for being a political upstart and ne'er do well! And he wrote a poem called "A Cloud in Trousers," which we assume is totally racy. When we scanned it for the sexy parts we found this:

"You would not recognize me now:
a bulging bulk of sinews,
groaning,
and writhing,
What can such a clod desire?
Though a clod, many things!"

Ooooh Mayakovsky! Even though you were already pretty hot, now we know what you really looked like on the inside!
Before:




















After:









<-----bulging bulk of sinews groaning and writhing